+*+Flash+*+

I lied to Neil and Tats, I would like Mowa's lifestyle... for a little while anyway, just before I settle down, in the province, surrounded with books, with a dog (preferrably a chow or spitz) and a WiFi capable house. :P

I want the sort of luxury to be able to buy lacy vintage tops when they're the hot tops for the season. Or peep toe stilletoes to lengthen my frame. Filmy tunics with skinny jeans and black satin kitty heeled shoes. I want everyone watching me, hating me, loving me, but knowing that at least on the outside, I'm fabulous.

I bought a strapless, black top with white polkadots and a sweetheart neckline. I imagined that it was what I would wear to "The Date that Isn't", probably would never happen, but I can hope.

It's baffling, this affinity for clothing, but it's better to look fabulous clothed than totally naked. :P

Neat Knot

So the world doesn't end with one (okay, two) mistakes. And maybe I was a bit over reacting on Wednesday.

My Math 1 groupmate replied after =counts= maybe 6 days since I texted her. Well, at least she did reply and I won't get a 0/15 on the group reports.

The Accounting prof was still a nag, but at least he wasn't super PMSing (yeah, he's the one guy that has that) when I asked for the make up. I only have to do the finals then I'm good.

I only have two tasks left, send the 151 report and make a reviewer for 9 Chapters of Econ. Fwee, can't wait for sem break

Foo Foo Frills

This is the time that I break down a little, flounder, drown in varying degrees.

~*~

I was with Len earlier on, she needed help with her Algebra and I needed to get out of my house and study. I took it out on UP, and in effect she got an earful of my complaints.

What I did then feels so alien from what I do know (which is just basically full on acads), and I can't help but feel if I still had my council, if I still had my radio jockey gig, if I still had UNESCO and Sanggu, would I still feel and be this useless?

Oh hell, it's excuses anyway, like everything else is, I know what to do, I just have to go about pushing myself on doing this.

Len will help, for some reason, having your best friend around always does.

D.

Whatever I had with him was a little nothing or a little something, but it was little, a relationship experiment when I was younger. Now that he's a super star, my friends (with whom I made the mistake of telling) can't help but tell me, and I can't help cringing and feeling embarrassed.

They're making a big deal out of it, when I broke up with him over nothing. It's like they're expecting something, some hidden connection I had with him when there was no real communication for over 2 or more years. I'm here wondering what could've been if I'd held on a little longer, but he'd be a trophy, and I'd be left empty.

I just wish I didn't tell, just a little secret I had, but now everyone's taking notice, and I wish it was because of me, and not him

Heights

I can do this. 100 tasks or one, I know I can do it well. Yesterday was shite, I know, but there'll be a lot of shitty days in my life, but I control which days those are and what the next day will be. I am me, and I know my capacity. I'm better than this.